JPMorgan London bankers who survived the Bear hug aren’t out of the woods yet: 10% of jobs are going in European M&A, ECM and DCM. Associates and VPs most closely resemble dead wood (Bloomberg).

A new valuation of Bear’s assets suggests JPMorgan bought the bank for close to zero… (Financial Times)

…but Jamie’s not wholly convinced it was such a great move – “We think we got a lot of great things, but it remains to be seen” (Deal Journal).

“Bradford & Bingley continues to be well funded and the capital raising will reinforce our position as one of the better capitalised banks and one of the leading mortgage and savings banks in the UK" (Telegraph).

UBS gives thanks to the taxman, but more write-downs to come on ‘previously disclosed’ risk positions in the investment bank (Reuters).

Lower profits predicted at Credit Suisse, no need for extra capital (Bloomberg).

Higher oil prices? Blame the credit crunch (Alea).

Sauerkraut and baguettes would be affordable were it not for those dastardly hedge funds (Telegraph).

France wants a sovereign wealth fund (Financial News).

Employees pass on SocGen stock (Bloomberg).

“I got some late night phone calls from some young, probably investment banking analysts or associates, probably drunk, screaming obscenities and telling me to give my degree back” (DealBook).

Fun, fun, and more fun

May Kin Ho of Goldman Sachs (YouTube).

Get down in the cubicle (YouTube).

Spiritual effects of mushrooms last more than a year (Reuters).